How can I improve my situation?
Tags: i improved my cellulite, improve, situation
I contracted herpes several years ago from a guy who selfishly kept this information from me. At the time I was very attractive and had a great physique. As a result of the devestating situation, I have become VERY overweight. I left the guy (who said that my weight gain was unattractive). At this point, I feel like damaged goods. Who will want someone with herpes??? And, as for my body – I have rolls, cellulite galore and a lumpy body because of too much fat. I am a frumpy, ugly has been whose thighs rub together when I walk (I now have dark areas between my thighs were the skin rubs together). I am soooo ashamed of my body, I don’t date because I know that men would be turned off by my appearance and my medical condition. I am still fairly young 32 and intelligent (I am working on my PhD), so I have many years of life left. I am starting to think about how I can spend my life alone, but still have a rewarding life. Part of me thinks this is such negative thinking (that no one will want me), but the other rationale side says that this is the reality of the situation. And, even if someone did, I would probably have to settle for someone who I wasn’t interested in, since the pool of interested men would be so low.
I can’t talk to anyone (I am too ashamed to tell anyone about my herpes), so my friends always want to know what is going on with me and what happened.
I have thought about going to a counselor, but I would be too ashamed to tell the counselor that I had herpes for fear he/she would be disgusted by me or judge me in some way. I didn’t know my ex had herpes (or else I would have never slept with him) and now I have to suffer for the rest of my life because of my stupid decision…….am I a lost cause??
LS said:
May 04, 10 at 10:04 amWell, it’s regrettable that you have caught herpes, and that man is disgusting for not telling you. I think it is illegal to fail to tell someone when you knowingly have a venereal disease. You could probably sue him if it made you feel better.
However, it is not that you can’t do anything at all about it. With future partners, it might be an idea to wait a good length of time before sleeping with them (for 2 reasons: firstly, you want them to be more trustworthy than the idiot who infected you; also, if you wait, you will be more certain that the man loves and respects you for who you are, so is more likely to accept it when you tell him about your infection (which you must do). There are also ways to protect him from getting infected – for example, femidoms give some protection because they cover the outer genitals on a woman. Talk to your doctor about other methods. Your doctor has seen it all, and much worse, many times before; and besides, if you do go and see your doctor, he or she can prescribe a drug to control it – I think it’s called famvir. However if you don’t go, you can’t get the drug, can you.
It won’t stop you ever having sex again. Also, I believe you are not infectious between flare-ups.
You will feel better when you lose some of that weight – and probably the best way to go about that is by raising your level of exercise, rather than dieting. This is also because exercise increases your endorphins (feel-good hormones). Also, if you do strength training, you burn calories all the time, not just when you are exercising.
I would recommend the South Beach Diet if you do decide to diet – this is because I have done it and it really really works, but not only that, it’s a healthy low-carb diet (well, it’s more good carbs and good fats, rather than low carb, but IT WORKS!). Google it. It was devised by a heart surgeon that noticed all his heart patients put weight on round their middle, and that low fat diets just didn’t work. It works because carbs trigger insulin rushes, which in turn convert the carbs to fat which is laid down round your middle.
PS, good luck, you deserve to do the best for yourself.